This Life

“He’s not ready!” Taylor argued as he and Keryn stood over Isaac, who was sleeping soundly below them.

“Taylor, it’s starting to get to the point where it doesn’t matter whether he’s ready or not!” Keryn ran her hands through her hair and looked at Taylor. “Look, it might’ve been different if he had’ve seen all of your family last night, but Zac said Zoe and Mack were sleeping, so basically, your mom will kill you and him if he doesn’t turn up somewhere today to see them!”

Taylor threw himself back on the couch in Isaac’s room and sighed. “Okay, I get your point, but I just don’t want him to get into trouble.”

“Neither do I, but what about your family? Is there any way whatsoever you could get him out of it?” Keryn started pacing, this was not the kind of day she wanted for their first day back in Tulsa.

A huge groan was heard from beneath the covers.

“Oh, so now he decides to wake,” Taylor spat, still annoyed with his brother’s antics. “Does he even know how much he’s destroyed my day so far?”

Isaac groaned again. “Would the two of you just shut up and let me get some sleep? Go on, piss off. I’m tired.”

Taylor pushed himself off the couch and walked over to the bed. “No, you piss off out of that bed!” Taylor swiftly removed the covers and started pulling at Isaac’s arm.

“Taylor, what are you doing?” Keryn scurried over. “You’re gonna break his arm!”

“Look, would you just leave or something?” Taylor looked up at her. “He’s my brother and I’m going to deal with it.”

“God, Taylor. You’re so ego-centric. ‘Me, me, me... I can do it all myself’” Keryn whined, turning out of the room and slamming the door.

“Thank God she’s gone,” Isaac moaned. “Get off me, would you?”

“GET UP NOW!” Taylor screeched, shaking his brother furiously. “You have to go and see mom and it looks like you’ll be wearing make-up... so come on... let’s go choose.”

Isaac squinted his eyes and looked towards Taylor. “Why mom? She’s in Tulsa. Hey, what’s Keryn doing here? She’s in Tulsa, too. Are we going to be late for an interview? Oh, crap. What’s the time?”

Taylor dropped Isaac’s arm back down and watched him flinch. Isaac recoiled into his position and closed his eyes. “This is hopeless,” Taylor murmured in a high tone. “Completely pointless!”

Taylor rummaged around Isaac’s dresser for his phone and started dialing. “Zac?”

“What?” Zac asked. Taylor could hear his mother and father talking in the background.

“This is completely hopeless!” Taylor sighed, falling back onto the couch, exasperated.

“It can’t be hopeless,” Zac spoke through clenched teeth. “Margo, would you please get off me now? I think you’re stretching this side of my shirt!”

“You sound like you’re having fun,” Taylor half smiled and looked over at Isaac.

“Not exactly. But in another way, it’s okay. I don’t know.”

Taylor snickered and put his feet up on a chair. “Look, what are we going to do? I think he’s delirious now, he thinks we’re still in New York. Everything around here is so tense, I’ve already had six fights with Keryn this morning.”

“Argh, Taylor this sucks. I can’t believe he did it. Hang on a minute.” Zac clasped the phone against his chest and all Taylor could hear was muffled noises.

“Mom, dad, is it okay if we organise this little lunch outing for tomorrow?” Zac asked his parents. “It’s just that Keryn’s on the phone and she says that Ike and Tay are both sound asleep!”

A few moments later, Zac came back on the phone. “Look, I think mom’s okay with it. Do you think everything will be okay for tomorrow?”

Taylor let out a sigh of relief. “Tomorrow it is. When will you be home?”

“As soon as we drop Margo home. I think twelve straight hours with her is enough,” Zac coughed under his breath.

“WHAT?” Taylor grinned as he heard what resembled Margo’s voice in the background.

“I said I wanted to go to the... Argyl Dome because twelve straight showers with Cher is enough?” Zac tried to fix things up.

“Zac, you’re crazy. What’s an Argyl Dome?” Taylor laughed.

“Don’t ask me, it rhymed with ‘Margo home’” Zac snickered.

“ZAC! I HEARD THAT!” Taylor heard Margo’s shriek piercing through the phone again.

“Look, I better go,” Zac said, scurrying away from Margo. “I’ll see you in about half an hour.”

“Bye, Zac. Good luck.” Taylor hung up the phone and threw it at Isaac.

“Owww...” Isaac wailed, feeling an antenna probing into his back. “Leave me alone.”

Taylor shook his head slowly and walked over to the door. “Something has to be done about your mood, Ike. Because other people are really starting to feel the consequences.” Taylor turned the door knob and left the room.


Keryn saw Taylor shuffle into the kitchen and sit down at the table. The look on his face seemed full of tiredness and hinted remorse.

“What’s happening?” Keryn asked, still annoyed from their last argument.

“We don’t have to go and see them until tomorrow.” Taylor was breathing heavily as he took a bite of some toast that was left over from breakfast.

“Taylor, it’s three in the afternoon. Zac’s toast has been sitting there for at least seven hours. As much as I’m incredibly pissed off at you at the moment, please don’t eat it.”

Taylor sighed deeply again and slowly looked up, his eyes flickering in the light that was coming through the window. He took another bite of the toast.

“Well, see if I care. Go get some bacterial disease.” Keryn turned and filled the sink with water, trying to get some washing up done to make the house presentable for tomorrow’s Hanson family reunion.

“Well, you wouldn’t care,” Taylor gasped under his breath.

Keryn rolled her eyes and tried to focus on the road outside the kitchen window. She heard Taylor take another huge breath behind her and then sigh twice. He banged the knife down on the plate and then ‘accidentally’ dropped the peanut butter on the floor.

“God, I’m hopeless. I was trying to help,” Taylor threw himself down onto the chair, making noise.

Keryn was staring intently at the road, trying not to laugh. She heard him tapping on the table and moaning on about how stupid he was.

She turned and saw that his head was rested in his folded arms. He sighed again. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

“What, Taylor? What do you want?”

Taylor stood and walked over to the sink. His eyebrows were arched up, his bottom lip sat on his top and he breathed out through his nose. “I’m sorry.”

“For what, Taylor?” Keryn tried to hold in her giggles, pressing back on the bench for support.

“Well, I was kind of mean... forgive me?”

Keryn smiled at him. “Well, I’m sure you’re not the only one that was mean at some stage this morning, so do you forgive me?”

“You’re forgiven if I am,” Taylor reached out and gave her a hug, taking in the scent of the shampoo and allowing the ends of her hair to tickle across his arms. “You know, this is the first ounce of quality time we’ve had since I came home. All we’ve done is look after Freakazoid upstairs and fight.”

Keryn pulled back and pushed some stray hairs behind Taylor’s ears. “So, Taylor dear. What do you want to do?”

“Just hang out,” Taylor’s words fell from his lips like sugar coated candy. He arched his neck and traced a line of kisses along her cheek. They found themselves swaying to the sound patterns that drifted through the air - the cars outside, the humming of the refrigerator. Everything seemed like their music, so they swayed. Their eyes were closed and they just listened to the breathing they were creating between one another.


“Zac, so, when will I see you again?” Margo looked up at Zac and brushed the hair from her eyes.

Zac just looked at her for a few moments and pondered. As much as his life was confusing at the moment, as much as he wanted to just stop for a moment and think about things, Margo would forever keep him coming back to reality. He didn’t know what it was that did it, maybe her cynicism or the general doubts she had on people, but whenever he was around her he didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. She made him crazy.

Zac grinned and his chocolate brown eyes glistened in the afternoon sunlight. “What? Do I have something on my butt?” Margo started obsessively running her hands over the back of her pants. “What? What are you laughing at?”

Zac stopped and looked at her. “I’m just thinking about something. Your butt is fine.”

“Phew,” Margo relaxed and opened her front gate. “I wasn’t sure there for a moment.”

“So, tomorrow?” Zac found his lips moving without any force from his brain. The girl sent him into a hazy trance and he constantly hated admitting that he was in love with the idea.

“Sure,” Margo smiled as if she was relieved that he wanted to spend time with her.

“Bye then.” Zac reached out and hugged her tightly. He still seemed a little restless at touching her stomach though. It’d seemed like months, yet he still had the tendency to create some kind of unnecessary, uncomfortable feeling about the whole miscarriage issue.

“Bye,” Zac heard Margo call out as he finally pulled away and started walking down the terracotta tiled path that wound through her front garden. Now he just had to get home and face the whole mess with Isaac.


“No,” Keryn said firmly as she stood, persistently at the bottom of the staircase, watching Taylor go up the stairs to visit his brother, who was now fully awake and propped up in bed, shouting for his brother to get him things.

“Come on, just try and feel sorry for him or something, won’t you?” Taylor was now sitting on the steps, pleading with her to visit, at least then he could spend some time with her, considering Isaac had shattered that idea so far.

“No. Why should I? I don’t agree that alcohol is the way of solving problems and that is what he did. He drowned his sorrows, Taylor, and I don’t like it. I know I’m stubborn, but that has always been my view. Sorry.”

Taylor rolled his eyes and pushed himself back up, holding onto the banister as he stood. “You went and saw him before.”

“Yes, but then he seemed like he was dying. Now he is fully aware of what he did to deserve my silent treatment, therefore I have no sympathy.”

Keryn swung around as she heard the front door slam and boots padding towards the bottom of the staircase. “Zac’s home, he’ll visit.” Keryn escaped to the kitchen and started pacing. She really did feel sorry for Isaac, but she was so angry at the moment that she couldn’t face him. The last thing he needed was a girl up in his room, waving her arms highly in the air, shouting at him about what he already knew was wrong. Keryn let out a shaky sigh and noticed Zac join her in the kitchen.

“Where’s Taylor?” Zac sat down and started unlacing the boots that clung to his ankles. He wiped a stray hair that had sweated across his forehead and attentively removed the laces from their holes.

“He’s up with your brother. I’m gathering he’s drowning with him in a sea of anguish or sympathy or something.” Keryn walked over to the sink and poured some of the drinks that had been left there since breakfast. “To tell you the truth, I’m not up for knowing.”

Zac grinned. “Sounds deep.”

“I don’t want to know what your brother gets up to when I’m not around... it seems like he’s living in a different universe.”

Zac nodded slowly. “He probably is.”

“I mean,” Keryn laughed at his answer. “I mean this morning I was convinced Taylor was so angry at Isaac. Now, they’re up there re-inacting scenes with the Lawrence boys in Brotherly Love. Help me understand your brother, Zac.”

Zac arched an eyebrow and made a face. “I think you know him better than I do in a few ways. Going for the full-Lawrence-brother-cornyness, though, there is some sort of bond that we brothers share, and we can forgive each other pretty much straight away. That’s why that whole Taylor thing is happening now. And, if it’s not that, he’s probably just pissed that he didn’t get to be the new Calvin Klein guy and therefore has new personality deformities.”

Keryn laughed and her eyes wandered to the phone that was sitting on the bench. Zac must’ve been having the same train of thought. “Kayla,” they both said, in unison.

Keryn took a deep breath and approached the phone.

She dialed the numbers of Charlie’s mobile phone and waited for a voice at the other end. “What?”

“Hey, Keryn here. Charlie?”

A vivacious voice started blurting things into the phone. “This better be important, I’m risking my highest score in snake to take this call.”

Keryn winced, not really wanting to explain herself. “Something’s happened”

“Something’s happened?” Charlie waited for a while, he had no idea what could have possibly happened that involved him so deeply. “Hello? Keryn?”

“Oh, sorry... Look, I-”

“No, hang on,” Charlie interrupted her. “I want to surprise Kayla when she comes out of the interview because I know she’s going to get it. I’m out the front of her interview place now.”

“Still?” Keryn asked, astonished at how long the process seemed to be taking. She thought the interview had started a while ago.

“Yes, still. And, I just want you to ring back this phone in about 20 minutes when she comes out to congratulate her. Is that okay?”

“Oh, sure, sure, Charlie. That’s fine.” Keryn was still trying to build up the courage to tell Charlie about the situation. “Look, Charlie-”

“Oh, you were saying something?” Charlie interrupted her again.

“Yeah, look. Something happened here last night, Charlie. Something Kayla kind of has to know.” Keryn looked at Zac, who was sitting at the table, staring at her for some kind of moral support.

“Oh?” Charlie asked, his voice full of concern, hinting curiosity.

“Okay, Isaac was depressed-”

“Oh, shit. He killed himself?” Keryn paused for a while, wishing she was face to face with Charlie so there was some element of body language there.

“Can you just let me finish?”

“Fine,” said Charlie, he seemed as if he wanted the words to flow through the phone so quickly.

“He went to a bar and he got very drunk. He got really beat up, Charlie. We don’t know anymore of the details yet, but, Charlie, he was in a bad way and we all think that something is going to have to be done about this. The two of them are going to have to at least work something out so they aren’t walking around like it’s the end of the world, okay?”

“Shit,” Charlie gasped. “It’s all my fault. I feel so responsible. If I hadn’t have started all of this mess in the first place, they would’ve been still together.”

“Charlie, you don’t know that. Things evolve, people change.” Keryn watched as Zac rolled his eyes at her use of insightful words.

“Well, I feel partly responsible, despite that.” Charlie started tapping on the brick wall, hoping that Kayla didn’t come out of that door right at that moment.

“Can you tell her for me?” Keryn asked, softly.

“Look, sure. Don’t worry about that call. I’m all stressed now. I’ll give you a call tonight, okay?” Charlie’s words were simple and fast, as if he wanted to get off the phone immediately to do a lot of thinking before the dreaded task of telling Kayla.

“Well,” Keryn started. “At least her getting this part will lighten the blow.”

“I hope so,” Charlie said. “I sure as hell hope so.”


Taylor sat on the edge of Isaac’s bed and dramatically sighed. “Isaac, I’m so depressed.”

Isaac rolled his eyes, wincing at the slight thump in his forehead and then looking back at Taylor. “What could you possibly be depressed about this time, little brother?”

“I don’t know,” Taylor buried his face in his hands and started nervously tapping his foot on the ground. “We’re almost half way through our trip and no quality time whatsoever has been spent with Keryn,” Taylor was speaking on behalf of himself.

“Well, she won’t even talk to me,” Isaac bumped his head on the bed head for dramatic affect.

“Well, look what you did.” Taylor stood and walked over to the window, staring out at the afternoon sun disappearing over the houses. “It’s summer holidays and she’s here by herself.”

“She’s got Margo.” Isaac sipped some of his water through a straw, flinching as it caught his lip on the way back down to the table.

“Don’t be stupid. Who would want Margo?”

Zac walked in.

“Thank you, Taylor.” Zac walked over to the cabinet and started going through some of the stuff he wanted to take with him next time.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Taylor wanted to tape up his mouth and jump out the window. Nothing was going right lately. “Would you care if I asked Keryn on promo with us for a couple of weeks?”

“That would be really, really cool,” Zac said, shuffling through some of his socks. “It would give me someone human to talk to while you guys are stressing out about which way your hair is brushed in the interviews.”

“I don’t agree with Zac,” Isaac looked up. Both Zac and Taylor swung their heads towards the heap on the bed.

“What?” Taylor asked, expecting his brother to have not cared in the slightest about the plan.

“Well, I just don’t think that it’s a very good idea at all. The two of you will get attached, she will want to constantly come on promo with us. Then what about the fans? The first part is that she’s going to get crushed, people will think she’s a fan and we’ll lose her somewhere in Europe because the security guards wouldn’t let her follow us.” Isaac took a breath, thinking of something else to add. “Then there’s the fact that the fans may see the two of you, well, embracing, become jealous and then there’s the end of that whole secretive thing.”

Taylor stared at Isaac. “Can’t you even give it a chance? I mean, I’m going to be too busy to embrace with her. We’ve never lost Jess or Avie in Europe and the fans know that we date!”

“I agree with Taylor,” Zac started packing things into a bag.

“Well, can you give me some time to think about it?” Isaac asked. “Besides, you’ll have to organise it with Dad and management before you go making too many plans.”

“Okay,” Taylor sighed and watched the last light disappear through the trees.


Kayla stomped through the door and down the big concrete steps, determined to wait until she released her feelings. “I’m driving.” She said it sharp and fast to Charlie as he jumped up in amazement when he saw her come out.

“You took long enough... fine, drive. You have to tell me all about it, though.” Charlie threw Kayla the keys over the roof top.

“I can’t drive and talk at the same time. You’ll have to wait until I get home.” Charlie shrugged his shoulders. Kayla couldn’t believe how he hadn’t caught on yet.

“I saw you talking on the phone, from the window. Who was on the phone?” Kayla tapped furiously on the steering wheel.

“It was Keryn,” Charlie’s voice grew quieter as he huddled into the car seat.

“Oh?” Kayla caught on, questioning his sudden mood change.

“Yes, something has happened. I just want to wait until we get home, though.” Charlie tried to focus on the rolling waves as they drove down the road that winded towards the house.

The car came to a screeching halt and Kayla wonkily parked on the side of the street. “What Charlie? What has happened to them?” Nothing could’ve gotten worse now. But it has.

“Are you sure you want to know?” Charlie asked, gingerly.

“For God’s sake, Charlie. What happened?” Kayla’s panic heightened.

“It’s Ike,” he tried to pause before he started again, but she jumped in.

“What happened?”

“He got insanely drunk last night and they don’t know what else he did. He got beat up pretty bad.” Charlie waited for some kind of reaction.

“Fuck.” Kayla slammed her head down on the steering wheel, causing the horn noise to hurtle through the car. “Shit,” she became startled and buried her head in her hands, weeping softly.

“Don’t cry,” Charlie hesitated, but then reached out to pat her back. “Look, don’t cry. You’ve got so much to look forward to.”

“Name one thing, Charlie.” He could hardly hear her through the gasping weeps and the tears were streaming down her face.

Then it dawned on Charlie. How could he have been so stupid? He didn’t know what to say, so he just sat and stared.

She caught on to his train of thought. “No, Charlie. I didn’t get the part.” Questions? Comments? E-mail.
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